The ever-expanding nether regions of many American citizens are causing airlines to burn more fuel in take off to compensate for the extra weight they are carrying. Consequently, fat assessed Yankees are making their unwanted contribution to greater CO2 emissions!
And that’s beside the safety factor. Excessive weight is said to be a key factor in the crash of a small jet in North Carolina killing 21 people.
Air travel is already one of the greatest, worldwide contributors to global warming, so we can do without any additional factors to exacerbate this situation.
The US Federal Aviation Administration has just revised its guidelines to carriers on how to calculate the weight they are carrying, taking into account that Americans are getting fatter.
Because fat people lie about their weight or are too embarrassed to own up, the FAA has added 8% to a male and 18% to a female in an attempt to ensure that the centre of gravity, takeoff speed and fuel needs for planes can be more accurately estimated.
But surely the best and only logical solution is to ban all Americans (and other nationalities for that matter) who are over a certain weight from flying – full stop.
This would be good for the airlines and good for those obese individuals who, if they want to travel by air, will be encouraged to get their bodies down to an acceptable size.